Ambrose Bierce Quotes

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

When you doubt, abstain.

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.