The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess.
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.
Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.
The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.
I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.
I hate women because they always know where things are.
Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing the
Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.
Love is what you've been through with somebody.